Resumption of service and statement of renewed purpose.

Following some technical issues and management disputes, Adventures in Pessimism will now break through the radio silence to resume scheduled programming. Any indication of conflict within the organization can be safely disregarded. There is no reason to regard any content or information contained in our broadcasts as anything but irrefutable. The world has become more dangerous these days and it is best that we adopt, adapt, and adjust. Signal on: now...



"--leads me to a brief statement in deepest and humblest respect to pessimism. Let us be clear: Pessimism is a Blessing and a Duty. Make stickers of that statement and post them in shop-windows ten seconds before the bricks hit. It is our duty as humans and as United States of Amerikansans to be as thoroughly pessimistic as possible. Let no one shake you from your negativity! Be prepared to give forth at any needed instant a thundering walloping billowing crackling nnnnnNO!oooo slamming and hammering from treetops and stonewalls and archways and the spires of cathedrals. This is your last line of defense. Cast it off at your peril. Say NONBUTSUTDUC to the world and dodge as syllables fall like spiked raindrops to the floor-mats. People who tell you to 'cheer up' are TERRORISTS. They deserve no more consideration than your own son would if he was a terrorist too. (Is he? Have you asked yet?) I call them 'cheer-uppers.' Needless to say I hate them. If you don't then you should at least fear and ostracize them, out of respect to your country.

REMEMBER: ONLY THROUGH PESSIMISM WILL YOU SURVIVE THE NEXT DECADE. IF YOU'RE DETERMINED TO BE OPTIMISTIC YOU MAY AS WELL CRAWL RIGHT INTO YOUR GRAVE.

This concludes our resumptive broadcast. Please stand for the hymn."

---MISSION ACCOMPLISHED---