Pessimism is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Henry Kissinger announced yesterday that a military victory is impossible in Iraq.

We here at DHAIP don't like to boast, but apparently our understanding of foreign affairs is deeper and more insightful than that of ex-Secretary of State, Nobel Laureate, and popular war criminal Henry Kissinger. We've been saying this since late 2003. That means we have three years more insight than he does. We will now settle back and wait for book deals, comfortable livings on the lecture circuit, and spots on the Trilateral Commission.

We also politely await an apology from every hawk who has claimed, over the past four years (we include a year's worth of run-up to the invasion, since after all the war that was "a last resort" was clearly decided and ready to go for some time beforehand -- which rather begs the question of why its aftermath was not thought out just a little more thoroughly -- this is quite a long parenthetical -- where were we? Oh yes--) that those who questioned the wisdom of this war were being unpatriotic, foolish, cowardly, or "negative." The facts would seem to suggest that we were, instead, prudent and sensible, and that we might have been genuine patriots who truly had the best interests of our country at heart. (While several of our staffers are foreigners, we consider ourselves an essentially American institution. And anyway we make them all speak English. Less confusing.)

We understand that President Bush fired most of the pessimists on his staff prior to the invasion, once again invoking that slur "negative." Blatant discrimination. We say to Mr. Bush: congratulations. Look what it got you.